So, where to start. At the beginning I guess. From the time I was a little girl, up until around a year ago, I have been followed by a dark presence from house to house. It started when I was about five years old and we moved back to Wigan after my parents had split up for the first time. At first we lived in my Grandparents’ house which was fine but then my Grandad found us a very old, dilapidated farmhouse built c.1700 which he refurbished for us to live in.
My bedroom was on the first floor and separated from my parents and brothers’ bedrooms, which were on the other side of the house. For as long as I can remember, I was terrified by a cupboard in my room, which always seemed to have a door slightly ajar, regardless of how often I would shut it. Although at first, although I never heard or saw anything, at night I would be paralysed with fear and unable to move, or even breathe, as I could sense something over my bed, watching me. Whatever it was, it was not good – the feeling this thing gave of was very, very dark. Every night I would have nightmares and wake up terrified, sensing this thing was there.
So, this went on for years, with my mother denying that there was anything in the house. She herself had experienced hauntings on a few occasions as a child and thought she would know if there was something in the house. She was either trying to comfort me, or very, very wrong! Other than the nightly presence, not much happened in that house, other than lights being turned on and off when no-one was there to do it. Also, I found the staircase which led up to my bedroom to be extremely creepy as well.
Years later my Dad admitted to me that sometimes he would be watching TV, minding his own business and not thinking of much else, when all of a sudden he would be overwhelmed with a feeling of being watched by something horrible from the bottom of the stairs, very similar to what I had experienced.
When I was about 10, we moved from that house to another in Cumbria. I thought that this would be a new start, that ‘the thing’ would now leave me alone. Ha, not so much. When we first moved into the house it was also being refurbished so for awhile, we slept in a caravan in the back yard. After a few weeks, my brother and I began to hear tapping on the window directly behind our beds. To start with, we blamed one another for the noises, each thinking it was the other one playing tricks. For a while we also tried to tell ourselves that there must be something loose on the caravan blowing in the wind but when we checked, there was nothing there.
Later, after we moved into our own bedrooms in the house, the comfort of being able to tell myself that my brother was playing tricks soon disappeared, as the tapping started on my bedroom window, which there was no chance anyone could access from anywhere else in the house. Again, as soon as we were back in the house, I began to sense the presence at night and often during the day when I was in the house alone. Often, when I was in my bedroom, I would hear what I thought was my dad walking up the stairs, even to the point of hearing the change jangling in his pocket, but then when I would look around, everyone would be downstairs. One night I was in the bathroom and even heard the tapping while I was relaxing in the bath.
Eventually, a few years later, I was in my bedroom when I suddenly heard an almighty bang on the wall behind me which led onto a corridor and had a radiator on it. Thinking the radiator must have fallen off the wall, I ran out to see nothing. Nothing had moved but the bang was sooo loud, there’s no way that this could be the case. After that the tapping mostly stopped.
After this point, when lying dozing off to sleep, I started to see endless faces, totally sharp, clear images of faces I had never seen before. They were often grotesque and vaguely terrifying – each face was accompanied with an associated feeling, all of which were very sad, dark and depressing. I didn’t feel that they were necessarily trying to scare me, I think that they wanted to be seen.
I then moved from that house to a shared house in my local town. The presence never left and at night I would often wake with terrible nightmares. Music would turn on of its own accord and stuff would go missing, only to turn up in weird places. As it was a shared house, the residents would often talk about this and many had similar experiences.
One night, I was sitting on my bed and all of a sudden this energy, for want of a better description, suddenly rushed me. I literally felt it pass through me and it was one of the weirdest sensations I have ever felt. For some reason, after that point, I felt convinced that it was an old man. To my horror, a few weeks later a taxi driver picked me up from the house and said that the last time he was at the house an old man had died and was being wheeled out (I never mentioned anything to him). Although this was probably just coincidence, it didn’t help with the overall creepiness of the house!
Not long after that I met someone, we moved in together and before long I was pregnant. Now just before I got pregnant, I woke up from the most terrifying and vivid dream. Basically in the corner of the room, there was a shining white presence. I was too terrified to look at it but I felt that it was somehow projecting energy at me. During the dream, there was a really intense buzzing on the back of my neck but when I woke up, but the weird thing was that when I woke up, I could still feel it. This was seriously freaky.
After my daughter was born, the toys in her room would turn on randomly but the thing that surprised me most happened one day in the kitchen. I was feeding her and she was in her high chair. In the corner of the room behind her there was a heavy glass door which was open. All of a sudden she started looking over my shoulder and laughing and then held out her hand and offered her food to someone off to my left, all the while looking like she was making eye contact and giggling. Literally, a second after this, the glass door suddenly closed on its own. I had lived there for five years and not once, either before or after did that door even move slightly, never mind shut fully! Now you would think I would be terrified, but no. It was really strange as a feeling of calm came over me and I started to laugh! I have no idea who it was but it was nice to know that not all the spirits around me are horrible!
So, we then moved to another house. I still heard things, saw the faces, felt the presence but really only two things of note happened there. Once, I was in the kitchen and looked out the window. We had a rockery in the front garden and all of a sudden, in full daylight, I saw, well, a black mass is the best way I can describe it. It moved a bit like the way mist does, but I dunno, more like something out of a sci-fi film, or mercury maybe. It was darker than anything I have ever seen before. It started on the top of the rockery then slowly moved downwards, curling round the rocks as it went and then went under one and disappeared. Still find that one very weird.
The second thing that happened was more creepy. I was lying in bed one night and dozing off when all of a sudden, I heard a really horrible laugh which came from nowhere. I ran to the bedroom light to turn it on, suddenly it blew. Then I went to the stair light to turn it on and that also blew! So I’m standing in the house in pitch black with this thing, which I can feel is there and is very much getting off on the fact that I’m terrified. I ran downstairs – thankfully the lights there worked but I spent the rest of the night totally freaked out. The next day I was putting some washing away in a cupboard and again, I felt this presence right up behind me, rushing at me and trying to freak me out. Also, while in that house, I was often woken by the sound of the doorbell, or knocking so real that I would actually get up and answer the door in the middle of the night.
So, after that point, my partner and I split up and I met someone else, who I eventually moved in with. Now this guy is an uber skeptic, seriously, Richard Dawkins has got nothing on him. In fact he is so skeptical that I don’t think it would even be possible for a ghost to exist in his presence! Ever since we lived together I have had very experiences, save for this last one.
So, I still felt the presence on occasion, although not as often as in the past. My boyfriend and I had fallen asleep on the couch. I dreamt that I was led into the living room by what felt like a small child who was holding me by the hand. I could see my boyfriend asleep on the couch and weirdly, I could also see myself. Except that standing over me, deep in some sort of trance was this really creepy looking old guy with a brown hooded robe. In the dream I was terrified and ran over to wake my boyfriend up so he could help me, except that as I touched him, my hands kept going through his shoulders. It was so weird. Then I woke up, obviously back in my body but while I was wide awake, I could feel a really dark energy pressing on me, almost trying to merge with me or something. I have actually felt this after waking up before and it has taken a long time for it to dissipate.
Anyway, a few days before I had read on a website which said that if you were ever being bothered by a presence, you needed to call for Jesus and he would protect you. Well at the time, not being Christian or even thinking that Jesus was likely to ever have actually existed, I thought, yeah, whatever. Not so much at 3 in the morning after that dream! In my head I was telling this thing to go away and trying to push it out (best way I can describe it). I was sooo terrified, that not even really believing, almost amused with myself, I said, if you don’t go away, I’m going to go and get Jesus. Well imagine my shock when this thing literally bounced out of me. It was like the opposite of the feeling of being rushed. I actually felt ‘it’ and the negative dark feeling leave my body. It was completely bizarre.
My whole life I have lived with terrible anxiety and depression but since that day, nothing. Don’t get me wrong there are still traces but the obsessive negative thoughts are now mostly gone. Nowadays I rarely feel anything. I think the presence is probably there as I’m typing this but I can’t actually feel it. I think it might be to do with your beliefs. If you believe you have no power, if you believe that it is evil and it can scare you, then it will. But equally, if a negative spirit who wants to harm you can exist, so can a positive spirit who wants to protect you. It took me years to realise this but once it dawned on me and I asked for help, it worked. I think in my case I was desperate and scared enough to actually believe it. So yeah, if you too have horrid things bothering you, try that, but you really have to mean it. Even works for non-believers, good old Jesus!
So, I say that nothing happened after this but I do still see the faces and a few nights after, I got one of those flashbulb faces and it looked exactly like the guy in my dream. He was so sad and miserable and unhappy I actually felt sorry for him. I don’t think these spirits are actually ‘evil’, I think that they might just be people who have lived horrible lives and are too scared to cross over, perhaps because of things that they’ve done, so they have to hang around here, leaching energy off the living and when they find someone who is sensitive, it’s like nectar to a bee. I actually think that they find positive feelings unbearable, a bit like Voldemort in Harry Potter. I also think that seeing them as they are, rather than feeling afraid or angry towards them is protective in some way, perhaps because they can’t stand anyone feeling sympathy or kindness towards them.
I don’t know if he’s still listening but I’ve tried to tell him about crossing over and that no-one will hurt him, or judge him, other than himself and that even then there will be people there to help him through it but I don’t know if it has helped. I’ve also asked my guides to try to help him and I think that this has got to be a better way than living in fear and perpetuating the situation.
Sadly, since this point, my son started to hear tapping on his window and saw an old man’s face, so I think when he got bounced from me, he tried to go elsewhere for sustenance. I’ve explained to my son though and he isn’t too scared either but I keep my eye on him just in case. He knows to shout for Jesus too, lol!